When Bitterness Creeps In: An Honest Reflection on Mother’s Day

I was once told on a business trip, “Bitterness doesn’t look good on you.”

I was really taken aback and actually upset because I was only sharing the struggles I have experienced as a female in this often male dominated industry I work in. I certainly didn’t think I was being bitter, rather, I thought I was being honest. It really bothered me, and it still does because I always encourage women to share their stories and to share their daily struggles. 

With Mother’s Day approaching, I am reminded of that same comment, and it made me start thinking about that word—bitterness. Mother’s Day used to be a day where I was really bitter;  I’m not going to lie about that. And I try to promise myself that I won’t be on future Mother’s Days.

My bitterness doesn’t come from not having my own mom around when it feels like everyone on Facebook has their moms and are celebrating with them. It’s feeling like I’ve never had a Mother’s Day where I just felt “spoiled.” Most of the time, Mother’s Day was just a normal day for me raising Dylan. There was no breakfast in bed or even sitting down for a minute. I have often felt sorry for myself because social media makes everything look perfect. Husbands cooking and serving their wives and all the mothers sipping mimosas or wine with their perfectly typical children.

I haven’t had a Mother’s Day with my mom for 18 years, and that last Mother’s Day we did have she was so sick, she wasn’t even aware what day it was. And this Mother’s Day, I will wait all day for Dylan to come over…it’s always great to see him and have him to myself.

But, I still have these feelings creeping up—call it bitterness if you want—or pity, or call me a child for not counting the blessings I have, or tell me how many people have it worse in life than me. And I know that.

I most certainly do count my blessings, and most days, I’m a pretty positive person. But sometimes in life, the bitterness creeps back in and you have to pull yourself together and deal with it. I hope all mothers reading this know that these feelings are valid and you are understood. If your Mother’s Day isn’t “perfect,” it is okay to feel bitter. Just know, you are not alone and I will be thinking of you this Mother’s Day while I enjoy my not social media perfect day.